Category: Gay Lifestyles

Oct 21, 2013
By Michael Rupured

The End of Gay Culture?

Since the beginning of time, doing gay things hasn’t necessarily made a person gay. You know — boys will be boys. Stuff happens, especially when the guys are far away from womenfolk fighting wars, doing time in prison, hunting, fishing, or hanging out drunk at the frat house. Beyond those who took the occasional walk on the wild side, I suspect even cavemen had an eccentric uncle, tolerated because he grilled amazing bison steaks, made the best loincloths, and showed no interest in diddling the women. What he did in his own cave was his business. And because of his…cooking skills, the men invited him along for hunting expeditions. Really I have no idea what gay people did prior to …

Oct 14, 2013
By Michael Rupured

The New Gays

They just don’t make gays like they used to. Kids who come out today are different from those who stepped through the closet doors when I did. For a select group, being gay is not — and never has been — an issue. I grew up in the 60s and came out in 1979, at the age of 21, into a very homophobic society. Interestingly enough, I recall very few occasions, outside of the occasional dirty joke, when the topic of homosexuality even came up. Queer was the polite alternative to faggot. Cool parents didn’t exist when I came out. My child, gay? Absolutely not! Some parents handled the news better than others, but hours of tearful attempts to talk the …

Aug 05, 2013
By Michael Rupured

My Holiday Series

I had no idea when I wrote Until Thanksgiving that a prequel would follow. The idea of writing a novel was intimidating enough — never mind a series. But something about Philip Potter, a supporting character, grabbed me and wouldn’t let go. I wanted to know more about him. Readers loved him too, and shared my interest in his past. After Christmas Eve, scheduled for release this fall by MLR Press, is Philip Potter’s story. Fans of Thad Parker’s uncle will find out what sparked his interest in helping gay teens who’d been abandoned by intolerant parents. They’ll also learn Philip’s deepest, most well-kept secret — unknown even to his precious nephew. Discovering Philip required a trip to the sixties — widely …

May 30, 2013
By Michael Rupured

Boy Scouts, Religion, & Homophobia

The 2013 Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia (HAHAT) has ended. The experience, from the easy-to-follow directions I received about what to do to feedback about my post, was nothing but positive. Thanks so much to the organizers for bringing attention to an important issue and for allowing me to participate. My HAHAT post is among the most popular posts on my blog this year, receiving the most comments ever. Thanks to everyone who stopped by, whether you commented or not. The winner of the autographed copy of Until Thanksgiving is aspiring author Sophie Bonaste. Congratulations! While we’re on the subject of homophobia, I must weigh-in on the uproar about the Boy Scouts of America’s decision to open troops to gay kids. …

May 17, 2013
By Michael Rupured

My Homophobia

Today is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia, and I’m breaking my rule against posting to my blog on days other than Mondays and Thursdays to participate in the Hop Against Homophobia And Transphobia.  More than 175 writers, cover artists, editors, and others involved with creating gay fiction are devoting their blogs to this important topic. Having lived openly as a gay man for more than 35 years, how could I not participate? The academic in me likes to start with definitions. Phobia comes from a Greek word meaning morbid fear. Clinically speaking, a phobia is an anxiety disorder revolving around a persistent and irrational fear of an object or situation that is out of proportion to the danger posed. …

May 15, 2013
By Michael Rupured

Field Research: Meet the Apps

As promised, here’s the first of several reports on my field research about gay hook-up apps. As this research breaks new ground, my focus has been on in-depth personal interviews rather than surveys. Yeah. Serious stuff. My readers deserve the best I can bring to the project. I’m still in the data collection phase, but wanted to lay the groundwork with an introduction to the apps. There are tons of different hook up apps with new versions coming online every day for different subsets of the gay population. My research focuses on three — Grindr, Scruff, and GROWLr. GROWLr is for bears, cubs, otters, chasers, daddies, and chubs — over-sized and/or hairy men of any age and the men who prefer …

May 02, 2013
By Michael Rupured

The Writing Life: Field Research

Not too long ago, homosexuality was considered a mental illness. Sexual acts between two men, even consenting adults, were illegal in all fifty states. Institutionalized homophobia and the risk of physical harm combined to make meeting someone a challenge. Out of necessity, gay dating practices evolved to fly beneath the radar. Imagining this reality is difficult for straight people. Staring at an attractive member of the opposite sex across a crowded room rarely leads to an ass-whupping. Whether or not the object of your affection feels the same way about you is one thing. Worrying he might beat you up or even kill you if he knew is something all together different. Being straight gives you the opportunity to select a life partner …

Oct 11, 2011
By Michael Rupured

National Coming Out Day

Society has come a long way since 1979–the year I came out.  I never dreamed we’d see gay marriage (now legal in a small number of states) or Emmy-winning television shows featuring gay characters. In honor of National Coming Out Day, I’m retelling my story about that fateful night. In 1979, I worked second shift full-time at a hospital in Lexington, KY.  I had benefits, the money was good, and it was always possible to pick up an extra shift for time-and-a-half pay.  I moved out of my parents’ house, went to parties with the nurses after work, and was frankly too busy to be bothered with anything as mundane as school. The shift rotation was such that I was …

Aug 22, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Walk a Mile in My Shoes

Today I was re-reading an e-mail I received several months back from a devout Evangelical Christian. We first met many years ago when we were both unaware of a central fact of our existence. She wasn’t yet religious and I had no idea I was gay. She is a few years older than me–a difference that doesn’t seem like much today. Back then, however, the age difference was huge. She was a college sorority girl and I was still in high school. She was a smart, sophisticated role model and a sane voice during a crazy time. While her brains impressed me the most, she was also beautiful with natural blonde hair and dazzling blue eyes. We lost touch, only …

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