Category: Humor

Jan 02, 2017
By Michael Rupured

Predictions for 2017

Happy New Year! Can you believe it’s 2017? The older I get, the faster January seems to come around. My resolutions (I prefer to think of them as priorities) haven’t changed much, so this year, I’ll take a stab at predicting what will happen in 2017. Despite Mom’s fervent prayers, Donald Trump will be President of the United States. I know this is a bitter pill for many to swallow — including yours truly. However, it is what it is. Trump haters are no better than the Obama haters of the past two elections. Get over yourself. I will finish Cold Revenge, my next novel. Life often gets in the way of my writing plans, so progress has been slow. …

Aug 08, 2016
By Michael Rupured

The Upside of My Vision Issues

Advanced Macular Degeneration (AMD) prevents me from seeing like I could twenty years ago. It’s like looking at the world through smudged up glasses. The big picture — what things are and where they are located, for example — is still clear, but the smudge obscures anything I focus on. Bellyachin’ won’t help me see better or win me any friends. Even AMD has a silver lining. Here’s the upside of my visual impairment. No more subtitles. Having to read most of a movie has never appealed to me. If nobody is around to read the subtitles for me, I miss anything important. AMD is legitimate excuse for passing on foreign films. I’m never the designated driver. Nobody wants me to drive them anywhere. If I’m out …

Jul 18, 2016
By Michael Rupured

Out-Crotchetied by Whippersnapper

In our little subdivision, I’m the resident crotchety old man. Pity the fool who provokes me. I run kids out of my yard, fuss at anyone who fails to pick up after their dogs, and call the police to report illegally parked cars. A guy I’d guess to be in his early thirties recently moved into the neighborhood. He bought a house that had previously been rented by an army of drunken college students. The percentage of rentals in our ‘hood has gone up since I moved in. We homeowner were happy to see him. Within days, dog walkers warned me to stay clear of his house. On several occasions, he’d come running out of his house to tell them dogs were …

Mar 21, 2016
By Michael Rupured

Southern Talk 101

I grew up in Kentucky, lived in D.C. for eighteen months, and for the past seventeen years, have called Athens, Georgia  home. Most folks would say I’m a Southerner. I say most because some denizens of the Deep South don’t consider Kentucky or D.C. part of the South. Blame the War of Northern Aggression, or what you might know as the Civil War Folks down here have a different way of talking. In fact, some outside of the region have a hard time understanding what we say. Part of it is the accent, but the words we use can be confusing too. Here’s a guide for folks outside the region.. Anem. Everyone, as in, “How’s yer momma anem durrin?” Bless …

Feb 01, 2016
By Michael Rupured

Exclusive Interview with Peggy Tucker

I’m super excited to have Peggy Tucker as a guest on my blog today. She’s a central character in my new release, Whippersnapper, and an extraordinary woman. She’s agreed to answer a few questions and, as a special treat, will share the recipe for her famous cinnamon buns. Peggy: Thank you, Michael. I’m thrilled to be here, and more than a little nervous. I’m not used to all the attention I’ve been getting since Whippersnapper was released. MR: No need to be nervous. We’re all friends here. So tell me, Peggy, how did you end up in the middle of an M-M novel about a May-September romance? Peggy: It was a huge misunderstanding. Blame that handsome Oliver Crumbly. We belong to …

Nov 16, 2015
By Michael Rupured

A 5K to Remember

My first 5K event took place in January of 2009. I signed up to run in the Chilly Dawg because it  was sponsored by my employer.  The plan was to walk it, but I quit before I even reached the half way point. In 2011 I ran in the Sleighbell.  Having failed miserably at my first 5K, I was bound and determined to finish. To guarantee my success, I trained for three months. I set my pedometer to 5K, ran at least three times a week, and had no trouble going the distance.  I was ready. The temperature on race day was a brisk 34 degrees when I got up. I put on my running shorts, and to remind me of my …

Mar 09, 2015
By Michael Rupured

Finding Myself in My WIP

A bit of me goes into everything I write, sometimes on purpose, sometimes not. Reading my novels gives you some idea of who I am and how I see the world. Mental health professionals who read all three probably see enough to offer a diagnosis. Since penning my first novel, I’ve struggled to figure out who I am as a writer. For no good reason, I thought me the writer was somehow different from who I am as a person. Whippersnapper has shown me they are one and the same, and in the process, freed me from self-imposed constraints. It’s more “me” than any of my previous books have been. People say I’m funny. Telling humorous stories is a family tradition and as essential to who I am as big feet …

Mar 02, 2015
By Michael Rupured

The Evolution of a Writer

Some people know who they are from an early age. Not me. Despite my 57th birthday later this week, I’m still trying to figure it out. Announcing who I am or what I intend to do never sticks for long. More than half a century of wrong guesses and empty proclamations lead me to believe I’m not supposed to know. The problem isn’t a lack of self-knowledge so much as a constantly evolving self. Thanks to the twenty-twenty vision of hindsight, knowing who I was in the past is at least theoretically possible. Who I am right now, however — despite my advanced aged — is a moving target. The same is true for my identity as an author. Despite proclamations about who I am as a writer, the truth is, …

Feb 02, 2015
By Michael Rupured

Pantsing Magic

Plotters plan out everything about a story ahead of time. Pantsers make up the story as they go along. My writing process has been different for each of my novels, but I fall squarely on the pantsing side of the continuum. I drift toward plotting now and then, but no matter how hard I try, my books never turn out as planned. I shouldn’t be surprised. Something always knocks my plans for the future off course. Shit happens. Unexpected opportunities arise. Nothing in my life has ever turned out the way I thought it would. Why should my novels be any different? Writing my first novel was like driving for the first time with no idea where I was going. Operating the vehicle was a challenge. …

May 19, 2014
By Michael Rupured

Search Me

WordPress — the host for my web page — tracks the number of visitors to the site and page views, how visitors found me (Twitter now eclipses Facebook), and all kinds of interesting tidbits. I don’t pay much attention anymore, but every now and then I like to see what search terms have brought visitors to my site. For the first time ever, “Michael Rupured” is the number one search term, with three spelling variations also in the top fifty. I really don’t think I’m famous enough for stalkers. The correct spelling suggests people see my name somewhere and then look me up. I suspect more than a few are coworkers or colleagues from my day job. Number two is “Daddy …

Page 1 of 212