The Crotchety Old Man

Oct 19, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Prodigious Produce

Now that we eat healthy all the damn time, a weekly trip to the grocery store is woefully inadequate. Despite a major shopping trip on Sunday, we often need to return at least once or twice a week for additional fresh produce.  I went to the store yesterday to pick up more fruit and vegetables. I only needed a few things: bananas, blueberries, a tub of lettuce, Oil of Olay (for my beautiful complexion), and deodorant (because I work out every damn day and don’t want to stink). In fact, my list was so short I didn’t even bother writing it down. Since I didn’t have a list, I really didn’t need my glasses so I left them in the …

Oct 17, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Things Missed

As you may have gathered, I had a rip-roaring good time during my visit to Kentucky.  It was fun catching up with friends and family I haven’t seen for too long, eating food from my past that’s not available here in Athens, and dancing until after midnight.  I’m exhausted, bloated, and three pounds heavier than I was before the trip. Though I did much better than I usually do when I go home, there were quite a few people I didn’t get a chance to see.  Some I hoped to see at the reunion but they couldn’t come.  Most the rest were family members. More time would have been nice but simply wasn’t an option. Lexington is the thoroughbred horse …

Oct 16, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Home Again–Days Three & Four

After staying out until after one o’clock and then laying in bed for an hour or more reflecting on everything that happened at the reunion, getting up Saturday morning was a chore. Sleeping in wasn’t an option. I had plans to hook up with my cousins for breakfast at Frisch’s–another crappy place I like going to whenever I’m in Lexington. I got to Frisch’s a few minutes before nine o’clock with no idea of who or how many people were coming. My cousin Marilyn showed up first with her husband and darling grandson in tow. We waited a few minutes and then got a table. Over the next twenty minutes, dozens of Glass cousins and their children and grandchildren turned …

Oct 15, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Home Again–Day Two

After completing week four, day three of the Couch to 5K running program on the treadmill yesterday morning, I got cleaned up and headed downstairs for the free breakfast buffet at my hotel. Meh. There were no danishes or donuts or pastries. I had a reasonably healthy breakfast of scrambled eggs in a flour tortilla with a couple of strips of bacon (the real thing, not that turkey crap I’ve been eating), and some canned peaches and pineapple. I made up for my healthy breakfast at lunch. My dear friend, Robin, picked me up at the hotel. She’s an important but minor character in Glass Houses who, as it turns out, knew even then that I was gay. It’s probably …

Oct 14, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Home Again–Day One

Yesterday I woke up sore from thirty brutal minutes spent with my trainer Wednesday afternoon. I’d planned to get my Couch to 5K run in before leaving for Kentucky, but between my sore butt and legs and a desire to get on the road early, I decided to postpone the run. I ate my usual breakfast of Greek Yogurt and berries.  Having packed everything but my toothbrush and deodorant the night before, I left the house at exactly eight o’clock–thirty minutes later than I’d hoped, but still plenty early. My GPS said I would arrive in Lexington at two-twenty-six p.m. I popped the first of twelve disks into the CD player to listen to John Grisham’s “The Confession” and headed …

Oct 11, 2011
By Michael Rupured
Comments Off on Countdown to the Big Event

Countdown to the Big Event

I started getting ready for my 35-year high school reunion six months ago. Thursday I’m driving up to Lexington. Friday is the big day. The first major preparation was to get off the couch where I’d resided for most of the last five years. You could say I was working on my abs, or maybe my ass with exercises like the pizza lift, the carb overload, and the finger-licking fat roll. As a result, I was bigger than I’ve ever been in my life–and we ain’t talking muscles. When a month of riding my bike failed to produce the kind of results I needed to reach my goal, I started Weight Watchers. Along the way I figured out that my …

Oct 11, 2011
By Michael Rupured

National Coming Out Day

Society has come a long way since 1979–the year I came out.  I never dreamed we’d see gay marriage (now legal in a small number of states) or Emmy-winning television shows featuring gay characters. In honor of National Coming Out Day, I’m retelling my story about that fateful night. In 1979, I worked second shift full-time at a hospital in Lexington, KY.  I had benefits, the money was good, and it was always possible to pick up an extra shift for time-and-a-half pay.  I moved out of my parents’ house, went to parties with the nurses after work, and was frankly too busy to be bothered with anything as mundane as school. The shift rotation was such that I was …

Oct 09, 2011
By Michael Rupured

You Talking to Me???

So the big Values Voter Summit wrapped up today in Washington, DC.  The summit is billed as the premier event for conservatives and a “must attend” event for any Republican running for President. Since I’m neither conservative nor a candidate for president, I didn’t go. The summit was sponsored by several organizations identified by the Southern Poverty Law Center as hate groups including the Family Resource Council and the American Family Association. Additional sponsors include Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University and the Institute for American Values. Nazis, skinheads, and the Ku Klux Klan apparently missed out on this great opportunity to meet with like-minded individuals. I’ve seen a lot of reports from the summit and checked out the web site. What …

Oct 06, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Week One @ The Gym

As of today, I’ve belonged to a gym for one full week. I did some kind of rigorous exercise every day but Monday–my one exercise-free day of rest. I’ve been to four Zumba classes, a spin class, and had a thirty-minute session with my personal trainer. When I weighed in Monday morning, I’d lost two full pounds–the most I’ve lost since my first week on Weight Watchers.  Rather than the gym,  I credit the increasing demands of the Couch to 5K program. I’m finishing up week three which involves running for ninety seconds, walking for ninety seconds, running for three minutes, walking for three minutes and repeating the sequence with a five-minute walk on either end. Running is getting a lot …

Oct 02, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Baby Momma Drama

The number of baby mommas one has to deal with is directly related to the likelihood the relationship will last. I haven’t seen any studies confirming this theory. But experience and years of watching Jerry Springer and Cheaters on television have convinced me it’s true. The challenge is pinpointing the boundary between an acceptable number of baby mommas and too many. I suspect individual differences play a role. For some, even one baby momma is too many. Others might be able to handle one or two. I’m guessing there are some who could even handle more. Not me. My first long-term relationship included a baby momma. Mostly we didn’t have anything to do with each other.  Even so, she was …

Sep 29, 2011
By Michael Rupured

New Me Coming

Today I did something I’ve never done before. In fact, I’d never even thought about doing it. Truth be told, it wasn’t even something I’ve ever really wanted to do. But I did it, and now I hope it wasn’t a mistake. In a recent post (Resigned, September 21), I wrote that I had started Couch to 5K (C25K) and was thinking about joining a gym. I’m happy to report that so far, I’ve stuck with the C25K program. Running hurts less and is getting easier. I’m even thinking about signing up for the 4th Annual Chilly Dawg 5K Run scheduled for late January, 2012. Yeah, me–I’m as shocked as you are. But that’s not what I did today. Actually, …

Sep 26, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Our Day in Atlanta

When I first moved to Athens from DC nearly fifteen years ago, that Atlanta was “so close” was a plus. Then I found out that depending on traffic, the 65-mile trip can take anywhere from one to three hours. There are several different routes I can take–none of them pleasant. I’ve reached the point where I won’t go to Atlanta without a court order or subpoena. My partner got tickets for us to see a matinee performance of Wicked at the beautiful Fox Theater in downtown Atlanta. We decided to make a day of it.  Since we would be in town, in addition to the one o’clock show, we decided to hang around for dinner at one of the numerous …

Sep 24, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Destiny & Gratitude

That I am a slow learner is one of several themes throughout Glass Houses, my as yet unpublished memoir. Besides adding an element of humor to the story, it also happens to be true. Where self-awareness is concerned, I’m especially obtuse. For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved to write. Out-of-town friends and relatives still talk about the long, chatty letters I wrote them dating back to the 60s. The journal I’ve kept since 1982 now includes nearly twenty volumes. All that and the professional articles, consumer fact sheets, news articles, and blog posts I’ve written over the years would fill a trunk or two. But more than enjoyment, I am compelled to write. Something drives me to …

Sep 22, 2011
By Michael Rupured
Comments Off on Like There’s No Tomorrow

Like There’s No Tomorrow

I recently heard a cancer survivor on the radio encouraging listeners to live every day like it was the last. I’ve heard this sage advice many times. It always strikes me as heroic, particularly when it comes from someone who has dealt with something as scary as cancer. So I got to thinking about what I would do if I really thought today was going to be my last day. I would certainly make a lot of changes. Just thinking about it excites me. If I knew I would die tomorrow, here’s a list of the things I would do today. Stop exercising.  It’s too late now so forget about it.  I’ve never enjoyed sweating–even during sex.  I grew up …

Sep 21, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Resigned

If you’re wondering why I haven’t updated you on my weight loss progress, it’s because there hasn’t been any. The good news is that I’ve lost a bit more than twenty pounds since May. The bad news is that I’ve not lost an ounce for the last three weigh-ins. At least I haven’t gained. The large bowl of ice cream I have every night at bedtime has absolutely nothing to do with my inability to lose weight. I swear, it’s true. Pity the fool who comes between me and my nightly ice cream treat. Just ask my partner. The major reason for the lack of progress, or so I tell myself, is that I haven’t been able to ride my …

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