The Crotchety Old Man

Oct 14, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Home Again–Day One

Yesterday I woke up sore from thirty brutal minutes spent with my trainer Wednesday afternoon. I’d planned to get my Couch to 5K run in before leaving for Kentucky, but between my sore butt and legs and a desire to get on the road early, I decided to postpone the run. I ate my usual breakfast of Greek Yogurt and berries.  Having packed everything but my toothbrush and deodorant the night before, I left the house at exactly eight o’clock–thirty minutes later than I’d hoped, but still plenty early. My GPS said I would arrive in Lexington at two-twenty-six p.m. I popped the first of twelve disks into the CD player to listen to John Grisham’s “The Confession” and headed …

Oct 11, 2011
By Michael Rupured
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Countdown to the Big Event

I started getting ready for my 35-year high school reunion six months ago. Thursday I’m driving up to Lexington. Friday is the big day. The first major preparation was to get off the couch where I’d resided for most of the last five years. You could say I was working on my abs, or maybe my ass with exercises like the pizza lift, the carb overload, and the finger-licking fat roll. As a result, I was bigger than I’ve ever been in my life–and we ain’t talking muscles. When a month of riding my bike failed to produce the kind of results I needed to reach my goal, I started Weight Watchers. Along the way I figured out that my …

Oct 11, 2011
By Michael Rupured

National Coming Out Day

Society has come a long way since 1979–the year I came out.  I never dreamed we’d see gay marriage (now legal in a small number of states) or Emmy-winning television shows featuring gay characters. In honor of National Coming Out Day, I’m retelling my story about that fateful night. In 1979, I worked second shift full-time at a hospital in Lexington, KY.  I had benefits, the money was good, and it was always possible to pick up an extra shift for time-and-a-half pay.  I moved out of my parents’ house, went to parties with the nurses after work, and was frankly too busy to be bothered with anything as mundane as school. The shift rotation was such that I was …

Oct 09, 2011
By Michael Rupured

You Talking to Me???

So the big Values Voter Summit wrapped up today in Washington, DC.  The summit is billed as the premier event for conservatives and a “must attend” event for any Republican running for President. Since I’m neither conservative nor a candidate for president, I didn’t go. The summit was sponsored by several organizations identified by the Southern Poverty Law Center as hate groups including the Family Resource Council and the American Family Association. Additional sponsors include Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University and the Institute for American Values. Nazis, skinheads, and the Ku Klux Klan apparently missed out on this great opportunity to meet with like-minded individuals. I’ve seen a lot of reports from the summit and checked out the web site. What …

Oct 06, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Week One @ The Gym

As of today, I’ve belonged to a gym for one full week. I did some kind of rigorous exercise every day but Monday–my one exercise-free day of rest. I’ve been to four Zumba classes, a spin class, and had a thirty-minute session with my personal trainer. When I weighed in Monday morning, I’d lost two full pounds–the most I’ve lost since my first week on Weight Watchers.  Rather than the gym,  I credit the increasing demands of the Couch to 5K program. I’m finishing up week three which involves running for ninety seconds, walking for ninety seconds, running for three minutes, walking for three minutes and repeating the sequence with a five-minute walk on either end. Running is getting a lot …

Oct 02, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Baby Momma Drama

The number of baby mommas one has to deal with is directly related to the likelihood the relationship will last. I haven’t seen any studies confirming this theory. But experience and years of watching Jerry Springer and Cheaters on television have convinced me it’s true. The challenge is pinpointing the boundary between an acceptable number of baby mommas and too many. I suspect individual differences play a role. For some, even one baby momma is too many. Others might be able to handle one or two. I’m guessing there are some who could even handle more. Not me. My first long-term relationship included a baby momma. Mostly we didn’t have anything to do with each other.  Even so, she was …

Sep 29, 2011
By Michael Rupured

New Me Coming

Today I did something I’ve never done before. In fact, I’d never even thought about doing it. Truth be told, it wasn’t even something I’ve ever really wanted to do. But I did it, and now I hope it wasn’t a mistake. In a recent post (Resigned, September 21), I wrote that I had started Couch to 5K (C25K) and was thinking about joining a gym. I’m happy to report that so far, I’ve stuck with the C25K program. Running hurts less and is getting easier. I’m even thinking about signing up for the 4th Annual Chilly Dawg 5K Run scheduled for late January, 2012. Yeah, me–I’m as shocked as you are. But that’s not what I did today. Actually, …

Sep 26, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Our Day in Atlanta

When I first moved to Athens from DC nearly fifteen years ago, that Atlanta was “so close” was a plus. Then I found out that depending on traffic, the 65-mile trip can take anywhere from one to three hours. There are several different routes I can take–none of them pleasant. I’ve reached the point where I won’t go to Atlanta without a court order or subpoena. My partner got tickets for us to see a matinee performance of Wicked at the beautiful Fox Theater in downtown Atlanta. We decided to make a day of it.  Since we would be in town, in addition to the one o’clock show, we decided to hang around for dinner at one of the numerous …

Sep 24, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Destiny & Gratitude

That I am a slow learner is one of several themes throughout Glass Houses, my as yet unpublished memoir. Besides adding an element of humor to the story, it also happens to be true. Where self-awareness is concerned, I’m especially obtuse. For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved to write. Out-of-town friends and relatives still talk about the long, chatty letters I wrote them dating back to the 60s. The journal I’ve kept since 1982 now includes nearly twenty volumes. All that and the professional articles, consumer fact sheets, news articles, and blog posts I’ve written over the years would fill a trunk or two. But more than enjoyment, I am compelled to write. Something drives me to …

Sep 22, 2011
By Michael Rupured
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Like There’s No Tomorrow

I recently heard a cancer survivor on the radio encouraging listeners to live every day like it was the last. I’ve heard this sage advice many times. It always strikes me as heroic, particularly when it comes from someone who has dealt with something as scary as cancer. So I got to thinking about what I would do if I really thought today was going to be my last day. I would certainly make a lot of changes. Just thinking about it excites me. If I knew I would die tomorrow, here’s a list of the things I would do today. Stop exercising.  It’s too late now so forget about it.  I’ve never enjoyed sweating–even during sex.  I grew up …

Sep 21, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Resigned

If you’re wondering why I haven’t updated you on my weight loss progress, it’s because there hasn’t been any. The good news is that I’ve lost a bit more than twenty pounds since May. The bad news is that I’ve not lost an ounce for the last three weigh-ins. At least I haven’t gained. The large bowl of ice cream I have every night at bedtime has absolutely nothing to do with my inability to lose weight. I swear, it’s true. Pity the fool who comes between me and my nightly ice cream treat. Just ask my partner. The major reason for the lack of progress, or so I tell myself, is that I haven’t been able to ride my …

Sep 19, 2011
By Michael Rupured

My Coffee Habit

Okay. I drink a lot of coffee. In recent years I’ve cut back…some. We’re still a two-pot-a-day household but now the afternoon pot is only eight cups instead of the twelve my mornings require. In my humble opinion, the coffee we make at home is the best anywhere. We have a Cuisinart Grind-N-Brew coffeemaker and only use Eight O’Clock coffee beans. I put the beans and water in at night, push the button, and at exactly six o’clock the next morning, the sound of the beans grinding wakes us up. The second pot goes on as soon as I get home from work–earlier on weekends. Years ago, I put cream and sugar in my coffee. That stopped when my coworkers …

Sep 18, 2011
By Michael Rupured
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Going to the Dogs

Growing up, we never really had a dog. Yeah, for a very brief time I had Poochy and Amelia. But my parents sent them to the pound well before either dog’s first birthday.  When I got an apartment, I wanted a dog. But I lived in a third floor apartment in a complex that prohibited pets. So I got my first cat. I tell the tragic story of all these pets in Glass Houses. When my partner and I got together nearly ten years ago, I had two middle-aged cats. Because my first three cats died tragically (two hit by cars), Damien and Sadie were inside-only cats. They were with me when my twelve-year relationship with my first partner ended, …

Sep 15, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Misnomers

Regular readers know I spend entirely too much time watching television and that I have a particular fondness for trashy reality shows. It’s true. Jerry Springer, Real Housewives (especially Atlanta and New Jersey), Toddlers and Tiaras and other, equally offensive shows are regular fare. I can’t help myself. The new television season kicks off next week. Having tired of summer repeats, In search of something new to watch, I’ve been pouring through the blue channel–you know, the one that shows the full schedule of every channel. Here’s a list of shows that caught my eye, only to disappoint. Dance Moms. I envisioned a show similar to So You Think You Can Dance and Dancing with the Stars featuring a group …

Sep 14, 2011
By Michael Rupured

Kinda Biz-Zee

Whenever possible, I try to write a new post here on the blog at least two or three times a week. Lately ye olde blog has moved to the back burner.  Without a dose of my wry sense of humor and insightful observations, I’m guessing many of you have had a totally shitty week. I’m sorry. Between travel, a hectic schedule at work, the start of the football season, and ongoing attempts to launch my writing career, I’ve been busier than usual. Believe me, it sucks for me, too. September and October are always busy months at work. Because of a new grant and several big projects, this year has been even busier than usual. You won’t hear me complain–at …

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