Tag: personal trainer

Jul 20, 2015
By Michael Rupured

90 Days My Ass

Ads promise anyone can have a killer body in ninety days. All it takes is thirty minutes of exercise, three or four times a week. Results are guaranteed, or your money back. In the eloquent words of my father, may he rest in peace: horse shit. A perfect body has never been my goal. Not that I’d mind, of course, but I exercise for my health. Staying off medications is the goal. Any other results are just icing on the cake doughnuts I shouldn’t be eating. Nonetheless, I was sorely disappointed after joining the gym three years ago that three months of working out had produced so little change. Seriously. I almost quit. Eventually, getting to the gym became a priority for me. I’d like to workout …

Nov 17, 2014
By Michael Rupured

Flying Solo

When I joined the gym two years ago, I paid extra for weekly sessions with a trainer for two reasons. First, having not set foot in a gym since high school, I needed someone to show me what to do. Second, the extra cost kept me going. I’m way too cheap to let my pricey membership go to waste. After watching several seasons of The Biggest Loser, I was nervous about working with a trainer. Getting up in my face a la Jillian Michaels is counterproductive. I’ll pout and go all passive-aggressive on your ass. Based on my experience, trainers are much less confrontational than what you might expect. Outside of the military and reality television, they have to be nice …

Sep 22, 2014
By Michael Rupured

Call Me Transformed

I joined the gym three years ago because it was cheaper than paying by the class for Zumba. My membership included weekly sessions with a personal trainer. He gave me a workout plan, expected me to follow it, and since he was really hot and more than a little intimidating, I tried to obey. In addition to two or three Zumba classes, my weekly exercise plan consisted of a thirty minute training session plus three more trips to the gym to workout on my own. I hated the weightlifting, but kept at it, knowing strength training would boost my metabolism. My prescribed workouts took thirty or forty minutes — tops — which I thought was an awful lot to of time at the gym. Ninety …

Nov 07, 2013
By Michael Rupured

An Update on My Healthy Lifestyle

Two years ago, because the monthly membership fee was cheaper than paying by the class for Zumba, I joined a gym. To make sure I didn’t pay for something I never used, I got the most expensive plan available. Having never set foot in a weight room in my life, I figured the weekly sessions with a trainer would get me off to a good start and keep me from hurting myself. Those first few months, in addition to my training sessions, I hit the gym twice every week to workout, and at least three times a week for Zumba. Three months later, I was hugely disappointed not to see the results that before and after pictures had led me to …

Oct 28, 2012
By Michael Rupured

I Gotta New Attitude

When I joined the gym last fall, I really didn’t think I’d stick with it. Nothing about my track record gave me reason to think otherwise. After a few weeks of sporadic and half-hearted use, any home exercise equipment I ever purchased went unused. I don’t know what made me think I’d go to the trouble of hitting the gym. But I did. Not only did I stick with it, but I’ve signed up for another year. I hate to admit it, but I’m getting kinda into it. If they offered a class that worked with my schedule, I’d go to Zumba every day. I hit two classes just about every week and sometimes make it to as many as …

Sep 11, 2012
By Michael Rupured

Success!

In early 2011, I got within spitting distance of 250 pounds. That’s about sixty pounds more than I should weigh. My Body Mass Index fell solidly in the obese range.  To tell you the truth, I’d given up. For exercise, I rode my bike–weather permitting, which ended up being a pretty subjective decision. Too hot. Too cold. Too windy. Looks like rain. You can see the trend. I didn’t ride a lot more than I rode. I joined Weight Watchers in May 2011. My starting weight was 238. Counting points was a real education for me. I found out the healthy salad I had for lunch every day (with fried onion rings, cheese, grilled chicken, a butter-logged slice of Texas …

Jul 19, 2012
By Michael Rupured

And Somehow…Results

Healthy Lifestyle and I are still having trouble getting along. I left the bitch in Georgia when Toodles and I went to Kentucky. There was just too much going on to be bothered with her. Since I’ve quit paying so much attention, my weight has steadily dropped about a pound a week. The ten pounds I keep gaining back are gone, at least for now. Whether I gain them back or finally move on to the next ten remains to be seen. I’m optimistic. In the last two months I’ve skipped sessions with my trainer, cut my Zumba time in half, and just about stopped doing any strength training at all. I’m not running as much either, though I have …

Jul 11, 2012
By Michael Rupured

A Little Good News

Finding out a few months ago that the miracle cure for macular degeneration wasn’t working for me hasn’t made going in for my monthly shot in the eye any easier. Until last month, at least things weren’t getting any worse. Struggling to see the big E at the top of the eye chart and then seeing a scan with more swelling than ever before took the wind from my sails. I’ve been dreading today’s appointment. That I’m driving up to Lexington tomorrow to visit my father for the last time added to the dread. As you might imagine, I’ve had a lot on my mind. The office was already packed when I arrived, New Yorker in hand and my brand …

Apr 11, 2012
By Michael Rupured

My So-Called (Healthy) Life

At yesterday’s weekly session, my personal trainer checked my measurements for the first time since late last year. The good news is that my body fat dropped another one percent and my calves are a tad thinner. Everything else–including my weight–was essentially the same. Read on for the bad news. No doubt, you’re thinking I was disappointed. My trainer certainly thought so. But I wasn’t. Yeah, seeing a big change in the positive direction would have been nice. But given that I usually gain anywhere from 15 to 30 pounds from December to April, I was frankly thrilled that my numbers were essentially unchanged. The one percent drop in body fat was a bonus. Even so, the lack of forward …

Mar 28, 2012
By Michael Rupured

A New Me On the Way

Until fairly recently, exercise was something totally foreign to me. About ten years ago–before I had settled down with my partner–this guy I was dating tried to get me to walk. I tried it a few times, hated it, and quit. In early 2006, a friend of mine loaned me a book called Younger Next Year.  The book was about the human body constantly replacing  cells. If you sit around all the time and otherwise don’t take care of yourself, the new cells are weaker than the cells they replace. If you exercise regularly, eat a nutritious diet, and otherwise take care of yourself, the replacement cells will be stronger than those they replace. The constant regeneration of cells means …

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