Crotchety Goes Shopping

Some people love to shop. I’m not one of them. Other than the grocery store, my shopping excursions are few and far between. They don’t last very long, either. Git ‘er done — that’s my motto.

I’m also a bit miserly. My penchant for the cheapest available option comes from Mom’s example, re-enforced by hard times in the decade or so after I moved out on my own. When the price is right, function trumps quality.

New bedding has been a need for quite some time. The Bed-in-a-Bag I bought some twenty years ago has served its purpose. I’ve bought sheets lots of times, but he comforter is threadbare in spots and worn around the edges.

I started my search online, but quickly realized it wasn’t going to work. To see the colors and feel the fabrics, this had to be an in-person purchase. No ifs, ands, or buts about it, I had to go shopping. I added the outing to my to-do list for my time off the week of Thanksgiving.

Walmart was my first stop. The prices were right, but the selection was limited and not particularly attractive. After a trip through the drive-thru at Dunkin’ for a couple of old-fashioneds, I returned home and took a nap.

The next day I set out for Kohl’s. No luck. Target’s selection didn’t appeal to me either. I hit the Chik-Fil-A drive-thru for a vanilla shake then went home and took a nap.

Determined to make a purchase, I set out for Bed, Bath and Beyond the day before Thanksgiving. Inside, I discovered the location had become a Bargain Hunters (ages ago). Doh.

Siri directed me to the new location a few miles away. They had lots of options, but the range of colors was more limited than I would have liked. I finally found one that wouldn’t force me to paint my bedroom a different color. Yay!

Then I searched for sheets to match. Disappointment with previous selections pushed me past 320-, 400- and 750-thread count to 1,000 count, 100% Pima cotton. That pretty much dictated my selection since only one of the available colors would work.

In the checkout line, doubt crept in. I asked the women behind me if the sheets matched the comforter set. She didn’t think so until I turned to walk away. Then she saw a patch of color she hadn’t noticed before and assured me they didn’t clash.

I wasn’t so sure. A few minutes later, a young lady opened another register and waved me over. When she said she loved the combo, I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

The total was certain to be more than the $99 beds-in-a-bag of my past. I figured something between $300 and $500. “It’s okay,” I said to myself. “I’m worth it.”

She smiled. “That’ll be $723.27.”

I bit back an immediate,”You’re shitting me!” Several cars I’ve owned didn’t cost that much. But I said nothing, smiled, and swiped my debit card.

Then I drove straight home to wash the sheets. For probably the first time ever, I even read the care instructions first. Then I fixed myself a peanut butter sandwich and took a nap.

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