Sex in later life is not without challenges. Men of a certain age sometimes experience equipment malfunctions. The mind is willing, but essential parts refuse to cooperate. Over time, once in a while turns into more often than not.
Prior generations accepted male performance issues as a natural part of the aging process. That has changed. Thanks to the makers of Viagra and similar drugs, impotence has become a treatable illness with a new name: Erectile Dysfunction.
The ads crack me up. My favorite features an attractive older man tossing a football through a tire swing. Get it?
Eventually, I worked up the nerve to broach the subject with my doctor. She told me to see a urologist. Fear that uncomfortable tests involving my junk might be required kept me from following up.
Years later, I saw the urologist about going to the bathroom a hundred times a night. Given my age, he asked about ED and prescribed Stendra. Like Viagra, it’s to be taken “thirty minutes before sexual activity” and the effects wear off after several hours.
Wow! My long lost friend was back! I’d come to think we’d parted ways forever. We partied like it was 1999 until reality settled in. Insurance only covered a limited number of pills a month. The Man dictated how much fooling around I could do.
No doubt, the quantity is based on some kind of average. And therein lies the problem. In no way am I now or have I ever been average. It’s a gay thing.
The limit pissed me off. What if I were out of pills and Jamie Dornan wanted to hookup? I’d never forgive myself. I had to ration my pills to avoid running out between refills.
My little pill forced other changes. Spontaneity was no longer an option. Thirty minutes notice was the bare minimum. Getting stood up took on a new significance. My supply was too limited to waste a single pill.
Still, I was happy to see my old friend again — even if only a few times a month. The flushed face indicating the drug had kicked in and the headaches that followed were a small price to pay. Life was good.
Then my insurance made us switch to a different drug. The change worried me. How would would my friend react? I hoarded Stendra, just in case.
My fears were unfounded. The replacement is Cialis — a vastly superior drug that works for days rather than hours. No more rationing or planning ahead. I take one every few days and my friend pops up whenever I need him, just like in the good old days.
Now if I could just get a date….