Savoring Solitude

Ten weeks have passed since the unexpected death of my ex and best friend. Our seventeen-year relationship was complicated — especially the last few years. Adjusting to life without him is an ongoing process.

How am I doing? Mom says I’m doing great. Arguing with her is pointless, but in this case, I’m inclined to agree with her assessment. Life goes on. Commitments must be honored and stuff that comes up at home and at work has to be dealt with. Letting things pile up just makes for a bigger mess.

After wrapping up several projects last week, I’m caught up at the day job for the first time this year. I’m still crazy busy, but the pressure is off — for now. I’ve got a bit more than two months to prepare the new class I’m teaching this fall.

Gearing up for the upcoming release of The Case of the Missing Drag Queen has kept me busy evenings and weekends. I wrote the last of about twenty promo pieces last week. Next on my writing to do list: my sixth novel.

As you’ll see with next week’s post, I squeezed time for the yard into my busy schedule — an investment that will pay off all summer. Throw in household chores, routine errands and daily phone visits with Mom, and my days are pretty full.

Staying busy helps, but feelings still need to be processed. My journal entries since he died are addressed to him. I don’t know how long I’ll keep writing to him — as long as it feels right. Pouring out my heart in long letters at least twice every week has enabled me to move on with him rather than without him.

I don’t have much of a social life — by choice. Rather than being lonely, I’m savoring the solitude. Whether that changes on down the road remains to be seen. I’ll keep you posted.

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