The number of baby mommas one has to deal with is directly related to the likelihood the relationship will last. I haven’t seen any studies confirming this theory. But experience and years of watching Jerry Springer and Cheaters on television have convinced me it’s true.
The challenge is pinpointing the boundary between an acceptable number of baby mommas and too many. I suspect individual differences play a role. For some, even one baby momma is too many. Others might be able to handle one or two. I’m guessing there are some who could even handle more.
Not me. My first long-term relationship included a baby momma. Mostly we didn’t have anything to do with each other. Even so, she was a constant source of drama, a steady drain on our finances, and because my partner was such a wimp–a major cause of conflict between us. I learned from the experience that even one baby momma is too many for me.
Before anyone calls me sexist, let me say that though I have no experience in the matter, the rule very likely applies to baby daddies, too. Working through differences that naturally arise between two people is hard enough. Throw in a couple of other vested interests and finding a workable compromise just gets harder.
The other day, I was flipping through the blue channel looking for something to watch on television. A new show caught my eye: Sperm Donor: 74 Kids and More. I decided to check it out.
Having recently heard a story on National Public Radio about children of sperm donors trying to find their fathers, I thought it was a documentary on one of the news channels. It’s not. It’s a new reality show on the Style Network.
Ben, now aged 33, became a sperm donor when he was a struggling college student. He got paid $900 a month to switch from a tissue at home to a little cup at a sperm bank. Yeah, part of me is pissed I didn’t know about this option. Silly me worked three and four jobs at a time. Had I known, I would happily have dropped a menial job or two to get paid to watch porn in a medical facility.
Now the fruits of his labor are trying to find him. In the episode I watched, Ben says fifteen to twenty kids have contacted him so far. I’m not sure where he came up with the number, but he’s the likely father of as many as 74–that he knows about. Talk about a game-changer. At least the menial jobs I had in college are history and totally unlikely to bite me in the butt today.
The real kicker is that Ben is now engaged. His fiancee has reservations about marrying a man with an untold number of children and the demands they may make for Ben to be involved in their lives. He insists that starting a family with her is his number one priority. Meanwhile, children are popping up like ghosts in a haunted house.
One might disagree about whether one or two or three baby mommas is one too many for a potential spouse to have. But when the number of baby mommas gets into double digits, I’m not psychic or anything but I predict trouble ahead. My advice for the fiancee…RUN!
The show definitely raises a lot of questions about the morality of sperm donation and single moms who choose this option. As with abortion, I have my opinion. But imposing my views on others about such deeply personal matters isn’t going to happen here in…
My Glass House