Why I’ll Never Rule the World
After reading some of my recent posts, quite a few people suggested that I run for political office. I appreciate the vote of confidence, but it ain’t gonna happen. Try as you might, you’ll never be able to talk me into it either. Here are just a few of the reasons why I would never run for political office.
1. Geography. If I had my druthers, I’d jump right into the big time and run for President. But you can’t do that. You have to work your way up through local elections. I’m a gay liberal in a conservative state and an agnostic living in the Bible belt. I couldn’t get elected as the dogcatcher.
2. Finances. With enough money, I could overcome the obstacles listed in number one. As I see it, there are really only two ways I could come up with that kind of money: Either win the lottery or get elected as a Senator or a U.S. Representative. Ironic, don’t you think?
3. No Party Affiliation. I can’t support any political party. In the current political environment, without a shit ton of money it’s just about impossible to win an election as an independent candidate. I’ve been a Democrat in the past, and will likely continue to vote a straight Democratic ticket–but only because there are no alternatives and I don’t want to throw my vote away.
4. Desire for Balance in My Life. I have a bunch of interests besides work that require a lot of my time. Frankly, I’m not willing to give that up. I work hard and am considered by my peers to be a productive person. Unless it’s absolutely necessary, I refuse to work nights and weekends and will bust my ass from 8 to 5 to get my work done. Ruling the world would take too much time. 🙂
5. I HATE Meetings. Ruling the world would require butt-numbing meetings day in and day out. Unlike our elected leaders and some people I know, I’d rather get something done than spend hours talking about what we could do. If I ruled the world, meeting longer than sixty minutes, meeting without an agenda, and talking at meetings to hear yourself talk would all be federal crimes.
6. History. I don’t mean world history. I’m talking about my past. That I inhaled is one of the more innocuous things just about anyone could turn up without too much effort at all. Opposition researchers would have a field day.
7. Brutal Honesty. Ask me what I think and I’ll tell you. Living in the Deep South for the last fifteen years has toned that down a bit. As a result, I won’t lie, but I will sometimes keep my mouth shut rather than saying something I know the other person doesn’t want to hear. I don’t see that working very well in a campaign environment.
8. Bias. In general, I don’t get along with crusty old white men. I’m also highly suspicious of corporate types and believe most corporations are out to put it to whoever they can to make a buck. Since crusty old white men and corporate types currently run things, I’d have to spend all my time with people I really don’t like. Life is too short.
So there you have it. I might have some good ideas, but I am totally unelectable. So instead of ruling the world, I’ll content myself with bossing my partner and the dogs around here in…
My Glass House