The Crotchety Old Man

Category: Advice

  • Useless Usernames & Passwords

    When I was in junior high a very long time ago, the only number I had to know was the combination to my school locker. I remembered it. Mostly. And when I forgot, someone in the school office could look it up for me. High school required that I remember two lock combinations (one for…

  • I’m Talking to You, Not Everybody But You!

    Just about every time I blog about trying to live a healthier lifestyle, I hear from people who say my journey has inspired them to make positive changes of their own. Deep down inside, I’m hardwired to help people. That something I said–some piece of information I provided–helped even one person in some small way…

  • Lost in iSpace

    Last Saturday, I finally got around to switching from Android and a piece of shoddy engineering known as the LG Ally to the beautiful and magnificent iPhone 4S. Now I know how Helen Keller must have felt when she figured out how to communicate with the world around her. OMG! It’s like the fifth dimension…

  • Hasten My Retirement

    Successful blogging tip number one: Never add blog posts on weekends. People read blogs on weekdays during working hours. Posting between two o’clock Friday afternoon and nine o’clock Monday morning is the blogging equivalent of masturbating–a solitary act that nobody will know about. Unless, of course, it goes viral on the internet. Advice for becoming…

  • The Real Me?

    My life as a professional writer isn’t exactly profitable. Three blogs and two completed manuscripts have yet to generate a dime of revenue. At least blogging doesn’t cost anything. After paying a freelance editor to review them, I’m in the red on both books. Consequently, I’ve not yet given up my day job. I happen…

  • More Puppy Parenting Tips

    Here’s another round of tips dedicated to my high school pal and her new best friend, Katie. Sounds like they’re bonding, but the new is starting to wear off a little. Now’s when the real work comes. Hang in there! The first few months are the hardest. Hopefully these and the tips I provided in…

  • Puppy Primer, Part Two

    In the middle of the night last night, it dawned on me that before I give out advice about raising puppies, I need to establish some credibility. And of course, I also thought of several more tips. I offer the following true-life story as evidence of my dog-whispering ability. How’s that for an intro? We…

  • A Puppy Primer

    A high school friend of mine just got her very first puppy. Judging from her Facebook posts, she’s already head over heels in love with the pup and perhaps a tad bit overwhelmed. I can so relate. Especially if you’ve never raised a child (the ultimate commitment), taking on a puppy is a big responsibility.…

  • Lessons Learned: Conference Planning

    A great many years ago, I worked at a reasonably upscale hotel. During my years of employment with this establishment, I had several different positions. I waited tables, tended bar, helped out in catering, worked at the front desk, and served as a manager in both the dining room and the front desk. Because of…

  • Never Say Never

    Things I’ve always said I’d never do have become regular habits over the last year or so. Recently quite a few people–including some of my regular readers–have asked me how I do it. In today’s post, I’m going to attempt to explain. Writing Glass Houses was the beginning of my transformation. I never thought I…