The Crotchety Old Man

Category: Gripes

  • My Yogurt Addiction

    Almost every morning, I have a cup of flavored Greek yogurt and berries for breakfast. Ciobani is my brand. The design of the container accommodates more berries than that of other brands, and I flat out love the stuff.  At least, certain flavors — I’ll get to that. But first, some context. For longer than…

  • My Island

    I have my very own island. Taking care of the silly little thing is more trouble than it’s worth. I’m thinking about getting rid of it. A tropical island with palm trees, ocean breezes, and sandy beaches I’d keep. This isn’t that kind of island, or really even something I could put on Craig’s List…

  • An Impatient Patient

    A dear friend and mentor said recently that impatience is my number one challenge. Truer words have rarely been uttered. He was referring to something specific to writing. But his words have broader application in my life. No matter how you frame it, I’m not a very patient person. What does patient mean? Merriam-Webster offers…

  • Missed Opportunity?

    Sometimes I think I should have been a cop. Law enforcement never made it to the list of careers I seriously considered. That I don’t and never will own a gun, have never been much of a fighter, and am generally sickened by serious violence all seemed to point to other career options. Then I…

  • The Bitch is Back

    Lately my normally silent inner bitch has become a lot more assertive. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s all that time at the gym. Or perhaps it’s because people just keep pissing me off. Mostly I’m an easy-going guy. I do, however, have standards. Leave me a phone message–I’m going to call you back first…