Category: Gripes

Sep 09, 2013
By Michael Rupured

My Yogurt Addiction

Almost every morning, I have a cup of flavored Greek yogurt and berries for breakfast. Ciobani is my brand. The design of the container accommodates more berries than that of other brands, and I flat out love the stuff.  At least, certain flavors — I’ll get to that. But first, some context. For longer than I care to admit, breakfast wasn’t on my agenda. Time was a factor, since I slept until the last possible second — even when I worked second shift. Depending on how drunk I got the night before, the very idea of eating a hearty, artery-clogging breakfast right out of bed was often enough to make me nauseous. Dealing with dirty dishes first thing in the morning …

Jul 01, 2013
By Michael Rupured

My Island

I have my very own island. Taking care of the silly little thing is more trouble than it’s worth. I’m thinking about getting rid of it. A tropical island with palm trees, ocean breezes, and sandy beaches I’d keep. This isn’t that kind of island, or really even something I could put on Craig’s List for sale. Truth be told, giving the damn thing away would be a challenge. Take a gander at the photograph to the left. Look close and you’ll see a tuft of hair up front that isn’t connected to the rest of my hair. My island was born a widow’s peak, centered between matching cowlicks. I spent a good thirty years slicking the cowlicks down — along with …

Mar 30, 2013
By Michael Rupured
Comments Off on An Impatient Patient

An Impatient Patient

A dear friend and mentor said recently that impatience is my number one challenge. Truer words have rarely been uttered. He was referring to something specific to writing. But his words have broader application in my life. No matter how you frame it, I’m not a very patient person. What does patient mean? Merriam-Webster offers four pertinent definitions. Someone else might spend more time looking at other definitions. But in my desire to get this done, I didn’t. Hey, at least I looked up the word instead of winging my own definition. Let’s take a closer look at each of the four options. Bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint. Nope. Not me. Ask anyone whose had the pleasure …

Apr 20, 2012
By Michael Rupured
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Missed Opportunity?

Sometimes I think I should have been a cop. Law enforcement never made it to the list of careers I seriously considered. That I don’t and never will own a gun, have never been much of a fighter, and am generally sickened by serious violence all seemed to point to other career options. Then I got a driver’s license. Since then, not a day goes by without me yelling at someone for doing something they’re not supposed to do. That they can’t possibly hear me significantly reduces any threat of violence. My zeal for law enforcement really kicked in when I started riding my bike and escalated when I started running. I berate drivers of cars that come too close to …

Feb 16, 2012
By Michael Rupured

The Bitch is Back

Lately my normally silent inner bitch has become a lot more assertive. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s all that time at the gym. Or perhaps it’s because people just keep pissing me off. Mostly I’m an easy-going guy. I do, however, have standards. Leave me a phone message–I’m going to call you back first chance I get. Send me an email–I’ll respond as soon as I can. Tell me something is due Friday at four–I’ll get it to you by three on Wednesday.  I don’t know any other way to be. That’s just how I roll Increasingly I find I’m the exception rather than the rule.. When did returning phone calls and responding to email messages become optional? I’m not …