Category: Friends

Jan 04, 2016
By Michael Rupured
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In with the New

Last week’s post was (hopefully) the final resting place for some of the baggage I lugged around last year. There’s more, but the load is much lighter than was the case thirty years ago. For this first post of 2016, rather than resolutions, I want to share my priorities for the year. Stay in the moment. Whatever’s happening on Facebook, Twitter, with my email, or with any of the apps on my phone can wait. I need to give my full attention to whatever I’m doing, whether watching television, working on blog posts, or adding to my work in progress. Worrying about what’s yet to come or things that have already happened is also a time-waster. Just stop! Take care of business. I keep …

Dec 29, 2015
By Michael Rupured

A Quick Six Months

Tomorrow my friend graduates from the rehab program he entered six months ago. Half a year has passed a lot faster than either of us expected. Time flies. If you’re looking for a good rehab facility, I highly recommend Bridges of Hope. Six months ago, I was skeptical. They don’t accept insurance, employ no professionals, and charge only $800 a month. I felt a little better after a trip down to check out the place, but still had my concerns. The program relies on a structured environment and the 12 Steps of AA/NA. Residents work four to six hours a day on one of several crews that carry out all the essential functions, such as cooking, cleaning, and maintaining the …

Nov 13, 2015
By Michael Rupured

My Work Here is Done

My dear friend has been in rehab for almost five months now. After 90 days in the program, he earns a four-day pass every month. For both his October and November passes, he came to stay with me. Given the way things turned out in the weeks he stayed with me prior to entering rehab, I was anxious about his first visit. He’s doing great, but I’m a horrible cop, and was afraid of what might happen. Thankfully, my fears were unfounded. The program he’s in is run by the residents. He got on the kitchen team in the second month, and by the third had been promoted to kitchen crew leader — one of only three crew leaders at …

Oct 19, 2015
By Michael Rupured

My Old Kentucky Home

I grew up in Lexington, Kentucky — the thoroughbred horse capital of the world. Getting back home happens less and less often. There’s much to love about my old hometown, and I find myself missing it more and more all the time. If I had to pick one thing I miss the most about Lexington — other than friends and family — it would be the bluegrass. Bluegrass is the best of all the turf grasses. Nothing compares with a barefoot walk through tall, cool bluegrass. I love the dark green color and the way it shimmers in the breeze. The last time I was home, I didn’t get a chance check out the gay scene. Things have changed since I left. Last …

Oct 04, 2015
By Michael Rupured

Three Months into Rehab

Three months ago, I shared about a dear friend who was dealing with a serious addiction issue (Traumatized, June 30, 2015). He was hooked on crystal meth and GBH, faced drug charges in two counties, had lost his job, and no longer cared if he lived or died. For three long weeks, I worried an overdose or car accident would kill him. On June 30th, he checked into Bridges of Hope, a rehab facially in the middle of nowhere in South Georgia. The staff and board of directors are all graduates of the facility. The program revolves around the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. The residents (all male with a capacity of 50) rotate through various teams. Each team is …

Jul 13, 2015
By Michael Rupured
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Full Circle

Ten Extra Pounds, Part 6 This is the sixth and final week of my 10 Extra Pounds series. Since starting the series, I haven’t lost any weight. In truth, I’ve continued to gain. At least the pace has slowed. Ten pounds makes a big difference. My clothes are a bit too snug. On my runs, my knees, ankles, and shins complain. The extra weight added almost three minutes to my pace for a mile too. Graphs on the web site where I record my weekly weight revealed a pattern. I put on ten or more pounds this time of year in each of the last three years. December or January I could understand, but May and June? I told my …

Jul 08, 2015
By Michael Rupured
Comments Off on Rehabbing A Good Time

Rehabbing A Good Time

A week ago today, my friend woke up in a longterm rehab facility in the middle of nowhere, Georgia. The first thirty days, he’s not allowed visitors. Getting him there took some doing, and I’ve been anxious about whether or not the program is a good fit for him. I got a letter Monday. Yeah, a real letter. For those of you under forty, a letter is a really long text message, handwritten on paper in a dead language known as cursive and delivered days later by a U.S. Postal Service carrier. Here’s the first paragraph of his letter: I hate this place! Please pick me up as soon as possible. It kills me to be here! The food is …

Jul 06, 2015
By Michael Rupured
Comments Off on Make it Stop!

Make it Stop!

Ten Extra Pounds, Part 5 Concern about ten extra pounds motivated me to act. Mostly, I worried. Unfortunately, as an emotional eater, my response was counterproductive. I ate like there was no tomorrow. Most days, I do fine from the time I get up in the morning until supper. Travel and catered meetings aside, my problem is post-supper grazing. I’ll snack until bedtime and then get up two or three times a night for more. On travel days, delivery is fast and easy. A sandwich from Jimmy John’s is my go-to choice. Sometimes I get chips, sometimes not, but I always get at least one of their delicious chocolate chip cookies. After my day in Savannah, I split a large …

Jun 30, 2015
By Michael Rupured

Traumatized

Someone very near and dear is dealing with serious addiction issues. Since this time last year, I’ve watched his life spin out of control. A month ago, the shit hit the fan. I first got concerned about a year ago. He was late for a dinner date by several hours and hadn’t called or anything. When he finally showed up, he  had abrasions on his cheek and forehead from fainting in a parking lot. He said it was too much sun. Odd things continued to happen. I’d ask questions, but not too many. You know — boundaries. Some things I’d rather not know. Ignorance is bliss. An incident in October knocked me for a loop. He’s lucky to be alive. With the …

May 11, 2015
By Michael Rupured

My Best Friend

According to wikipedia, a friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people. That casts a pretty wide net. I’m fond of a whole lot of people. Lucky for me, some of them feel the same way about me. By definition, that makes us friends. I’m grateful for each and every one of them. Many date back to grade school. Just knowing someone that long is special. In a world where everyone comes and goes so much, more than forty years of shared history carries a lot of weight. Like a mother with many children, I love my friends equally. Naming a best friend is risky business. I’m taking the risk this year and doubt any runners up will take offense The 2015 recipient of …

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