Category: Modern Gay Dating

May 02, 2016
By Michael Rupured

Finding My Prince

I am a life-long serial monogamist. At the tender age of pushing sixty, I’m currently without my Mr. Right. This is the longest stretch (going on four years) without a significant other since grade school. Single life agrees with me more than I care to admit or thought possible. Still, I don’t see my bachelor lifestyle as a forever thing. One day he’ll come along… I’d like to meet a nice, gorgeous, and likable guy with a car, his own place, and full retirement benefits who takes good care of himself, thinks I’m amazing, and can’t keep his hands off of me. Is that too much to ask? Life is too short for bad relationships. I’ve reached the age where individual body parts have …

Feb 29, 2016
By Michael Rupured

Total Assimilation

Attitudes about homosexuality have changed much faster than I ever expected. In the 1950s and 1960s, mothers worried about protecting their children from homosexual pedophiles. Today, they’re card carrying members of P-FLAG. Sixty years ago, homosexuality was illegal in every state but Illinois. Until 1974, the American Psychiatric Association considered homosexuality to be a mental illness. In 1975, the federal government lifted a ban on the hiring of homosexuals. Fast forward to 2015 when the Supreme Court decided gays and lesbians have the right to Equal rights and widespread public acceptance of LGBT folks are good things. Kids come out as gay, lesbian, and transgender at younger and younger ages. Understanding is growing that gender, gender identity, and sexual preference are …

Dec 07, 2015
By Michael Rupured

The Party Scene

Partying is a part of growing up. At some point, most people go through a party phase. A few souls avoid the party scene all together, but most people take at least a short tour. Some never leave. The party scene revolves around alcohol, music, and sex. Drugs have always been around, but didn’t become mainstream until maybe the Sixties. Things have changed a lot since then. I smoked cigarettes and drank alcohol before I was old enough to drive a car. I added marijuana to the mix in college. A few months later, I lost my virginity. Within a year, I’d figured out I was gay. My friends and I went out six nights a week, only because nothing was open on Sundays. We’d hang out before …

Jul 28, 2014
By Michael Rupured

The “I’m Not Gay” Homosexual

“I’m not gay” homosexuals turn up in my stories from time to time. Readers — especially women (do straight men read my books?) — question how he can be in denial about being gay when he’s having sex with men. Openly gay men know exactly who I’m talking about because these guys hit on us all the time. The “I’m not gay” homosexual doesn’t deny enjoying sex with men. Misperceptions about “the gay lifestyle” and what it means to be gay blind him to the truth. That he might be gay is just too horrifying to even consider. What would his family say? Growing up, that I might be gay never occurred to me. Don’t laugh, it’s true. Everyone else knew, …

Jun 23, 2014
By Michael Rupured

Single Life and the Serial Monogamist

For me, a relationship has always been as essential for life as clean air and water. Except for the hours, days, or weeks required to find a new one, I’ve been seeing someone steady since the fifth grade. By high school graduation, I’d spent thousands of hours on the telephone with dozens of girls who sported cheap jewelry engraved with my name or initials. My goal to stay in a relationship continued through college, after I came out, and beyond. A partner was proof somebody loved me. Desperation guided my selection process, with unsurprising results. Yeah, I know. Pathetic. Pardon the pun, but I had a hole to fill. Decent guys ran like the wind, leaving nothing but riffraff to sort through for my next partner. My last ex …

Jun 16, 2014
By Michael Rupured

Priorities

My father taught me anything worth doing is worth doing well. Of course, he never actually used those words. Instead, he’d berate me for being half-assed. Thanks to this early training (or an undiagnosed personality disorder), I don’t do things by halves. Nope. Not me. I’m whole ass or not at all. Insecurity nourishes my obsessive tendencies. To compensate for feeling like I’m not up to the task, I play to win and am always looking for ways to improve my game. This competitive nature, on occasion, makes me come across as a bit of a jerk. Time and success have softened hard edges, but insecurity still drives me to overachieve. Life can be overwhelming. There’s always so damn much to do, and change is constant. With …

Oct 14, 2013
By Michael Rupured

The New Gays

They just don’t make gays like they used to. Kids who come out today are different from those who stepped through the closet doors when I did. For a select group, being gay is not — and never has been — an issue. I grew up in the 60s and came out in 1979, at the age of 21, into a very homophobic society. Interestingly enough, I recall very few occasions, outside of the occasional dirty joke, when the topic of homosexuality even came up. Queer was the polite alternative to faggot. Cool parents didn’t exist when I came out. My child, gay? Absolutely not! Some parents handled the news better than others, but hours of tearful attempts to talk the …

Sep 12, 2013
By Michael Rupured

Masculine Enhancement

Listening to talk radio on long drives keeps me from falling asleep. Depending on traffic, a few minutes of Rush Limbaugh can keep me seething for a good fifty miles. Though his partisan rants are intended to amuse, the real entertainment comes from some of the ads — especially the ads for masculine enhancement. For the uninitiated, uninformed, or blissfully unaware, masculine enhancement is a radio-friendly euphemism for penis enlargement. That’s right, ladies (and both of the men who read my blog), your man can now buy pills, potions, devices, and exercise plans guaranteed to add inches to his… er, masculinity. Looking for a gift for the man who has everything?  Rare, indeed, is the guy who wouldn’t mind another inch …

Aug 26, 2013
By Michael Rupured

Back in the Groove

Events in the last half of 2012 changed my life forever. Losing my father, splitting up with my partner of twelve years, becoming a published author, picking up two new titles at the day job, moving to a smaller house and other changes disrupted my comfortable patterns and routines. I focused on the positive and, though I wasn’t always sure where the road would take me, kept moving forward. As a creature of habit, the collective changes to my daily rhythms stressed me out at least as much as any single event. With my system for keeping up with stuff in shambles, things fell through the canyon-sized cracks in my routines. So I’d make an adjustment, vow to do better …

Jun 13, 2013
By Michael Rupured

An Historical Perspective

Exploring the dating habits of contemporary gay men continues to require huge investments of time and energy. Data collection is ongoing. In fact, I see no end in sight. The larger the study population, the better the results. And as you know, I want only the best for my readers. Before we get to today, you need a better understanding of history. Specifically, mine — warts and all — up to my most recent ex. He doesn’t fit a mold I can only hope is now broken. In the months after I came out, 21-year-old me fell in love about 427 times. Bouncing in and out of the closet cost me the best of the bunch — a kind, handsome …

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