Someone very near and dear is dealing with serious addiction issues. Since this time last year, I’ve watched his life spin out of control. A month ago, the shit hit the fan.
I first got concerned about a year ago. He was late for a dinner date by several hours and hadn’t called or anything. When he finally showed up, he had abrasions on his cheek and forehead from fainting in a parking lot. He said it was too much sun.
Odd things continued to happen. I’d ask questions, but not too many. You know — boundaries. Some things I’d rather not know. Ignorance is bliss.
An incident in October knocked me for a loop. He’s lucky to be alive. With the 20-20 vision of hindsight, I should have made him go to rehab then. He said he wasn’t using any longer, but I should have known better. Nobody quits this shit cold turkey. How different things might be today if I had.
Until a month ago, he counted to function at a high level in a very demanding job. Odd things happened, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. By the time I realized the extent of his illness, it was too late. The damage was done.
The past month has been filled with one challenge after another. Everything is at stake, and he’s in no shape to deal with anything. I’m grateful to be able to help him.
Hiring an attorney was my first priority. The woman representing him has changed my opinion of lawyers. She’s has truly worked miracles.
I’m grateful to my support network, both his friends and mine When things reached a certain point, I reached out to his closest friends. Their incredible love and support has made a difference, for him and for me.
My dear friends have let me cry on their shoulders. They’ve listened with open minds and open hearts and helped me figure out what to do next. We’ve been more in touch with each other this past month than in years, and I am so grateful for their presence in my life.
My mother is amazing. There have been days when I called her eight and ten times. She loves him as much as I do, and has been my rock through all of this.
If you suspect someone is dealing with addiction, they probably are. Talking with them about it might help, but he or she will lie. That’s what addicts do.
I don’t blame myself for failing to see what’s so obvious now. I forgive him for all the lies and poor decisions. He did it to himself, not me.
My friend is alive, has a great attitude, and is in a good place. We worked together to get this far. Now, it’s up to him.
2 responses to “Traumatized”
It’s always sad to hear stories about people who have got sucked down into addiction. It’s always good, however, to hear they have a strong support network who have helped them get out again. Whoever your friend is, he’s a lucky man to have you honey. Just make sure you take care of yourself while you take care of him.
Thank you, Cheryl. He’s in a great program where he’ll (hopefully) stay for the next six months. I’ve learned a lot about love in the last month. Thanks for stopping by.