The Crotchety Old Man

Category: Exercise

  • Swap Resolutions for Priorities

    For most of my career, instead of days off for “lesser” federal holidays, my employer has given us the week off between Christmas and New Year’s Day. Depending on when the holidays fall, I usually add days of vacation time to either end — both if possible. Most years, the holiday vacation is my longest break from the…

  • My Perfect Little Dog

    Few things are more adorable than a six-week old chihuahua puppy. Within days of my ex getting a dog I didn’t especially want, I accepted the little darling and took an active role in his upbringing. Early socialization is important, especially with nervous breeds like chihuahuas. Perhaps as a result of all the early attention, Tico is a…

  • Flying Solo

    When I joined the gym two years ago, I paid extra for weekly sessions with a trainer for two reasons. First, having not set foot in a gym since high school, I needed someone to show me what to do. Second, the extra cost kept me going. I’m way too cheap to let my pricey membership…

  • Stepping Up My Game

    Exercise is great. The more I do, the more I’m able to do. The downside is the more I do, the more I must do to get the same result. The time comes to either step up my game, switch up the activity, or quit and wait long enough for the same effort to work again.…

  • Call Me Transformed

    I joined the gym three years ago because it was cheaper than paying by the class for Zumba. My membership included weekly sessions with a personal trainer. He gave me a workout plan, expected me to follow it, and since he was really hot and more than a little intimidating, I tried to obey. In addition to two…

  • Losing My Addictions

    My weight has varied by less than three pounds for going on two years now. Not gaining is great, but I really want to shed the oldest fat in my body — fat that settled around my waist decades ago and is now firmly entrenched. The weight is less the issue than a desire to end the jiggling. If…

  • Dancing My Ass Off

    Best I can remember, weight was never an issue for me growing up. Mom served nutritionally balanced meals and didn’t keep much junk food around. I was active, too. After school, on weekends and during summer breaks, the kids in our neighborhood spent every waking moment outside climbing trees, riding bikes, and playing pickup games…

  • Priorities

    My father taught me anything worth doing is worth doing well. Of course, he never actually used those words. Instead, he’d berate me for being half-assed. Thanks to this early training (or an undiagnosed personality disorder), I don’t do things by halves. Nope. Not me. I’m whole ass or not at all. Insecurity nourishes my obsessive tendencies. To compensate for…

  • The Advantages of a Treadmill

    I’ve never been a fan of the treadmill. But as much as I hate the confounded torture device, I hate not running more. So I finally forced myself to adjust. Since then, I’ve come to see a few advantages a treadmill offers. Weather excuses disappear. I don’t like to run when it’s too hot, too…

  • The Treadmill and Me

    I’ve gained ten pounds in the last few weeks. Why? A deep and abiding affection for Simply Lemonade, Nabisco Ginger Snaps, and ice-cream (any brand will do) had nothing to do with the extra weight. I blame cold weather. Why? Because I’m a fair weather runner. I love running shirtless, and that requires sunshine, temperatures…