The Crotchety Old Man

Tag: weight loss

  • My New Exercise Routine

    “Exercise more” tops my to-do list and will likely remain a priority for the rest of my life. Progress has been made. “Exercise more” replaced “Get off your ass and do something,” a to-do list topper from the late 1970s to 2005 or so. Incorporating exercise into daily routines is the key to success. I try…

  • Losing My Addictions

    My weight has varied by less than three pounds for going on two years now. Not gaining is great, but I really want to shed the oldest fat in my body — fat that settled around my waist decades ago and is now firmly entrenched. The weight is less the issue than a desire to end the jiggling. If…

  • Gotta Dance

    I don’t know about everyone else, but dancing is in my genes. No, I’m not talking about an inherited ability to trip the light fantastic. I can hold my own on the dance floor, thank you very much, but would never win any contests. My lack of talent, however, in no way diminishes the joy…

  • The Longest Night

    Winter is my least favorite time of year. I hate cold weather, and the shorter days trigger my Seasonal Affective Disorder. Throw in all the holidays that revolve around food and a tendency to carb-load, and the biggest gift I get every year is an extra twenty pounds–or more–that I spend the next twelve months…

  • I Gotta New Attitude

    When I joined the gym last fall, I really didn’t think I’d stick with it. Nothing about my track record gave me reason to think otherwise. After a few weeks of sporadic and half-hearted use, any home exercise equipment I ever purchased went unused. I don’t know what made me think I’d go to the…

  • Success!

    In early 2011, I got within spitting distance of 250 pounds. That’s about sixty pounds more than I should weigh. My Body Mass Index fell solidly in the obese range.  To tell you the truth, I’d given up. For exercise, I rode my bike–weather permitting, which ended up being a pretty subjective decision. Too hot.…

  • Keep on Keeping On

    A bunch of age-related health issues hit me around my fiftieth birthday. My BMI (Body Mass Index) was well over 30 (obese), my activity level was zero, and the scale had drifted close to 250 pounds. Even my dress pants had elastic waistbands. Middle-age had caught up with me, taken up residence around my waist,…

  • And Somehow…Results

    Healthy Lifestyle and I are still having trouble getting along. I left the bitch in Georgia when Toodles and I went to Kentucky. There was just too much going on to be bothered with her. Since I’ve quit paying so much attention, my weight has steadily dropped about a pound a week. The ten pounds…

  • Ongoing Relationship Issues

    You haven’t read anything about my diet and exercise program since me and Healthy Lifestyle started feuding early last month. I said then that we wouldn’t be having this trouble if she just didn’t expect so much from me. Seriously. “Fine,” she said. “Do things your way. Remember how that worked for you? Remember where…

  • In My Defense…

    I need to talk about the photograph that showed up on my Facebook page late yesterday afternoon. The emails I’ve received, the comments people made on the original Facebook post, and the things people have said to me since they saw the photograph demand a response. Today I’m here to offer my defense. People want…