The Crotchety Old Man

Category: Habits

  • Cologne: A Confession

    Spritzing on cologne is a part of my getting-ready-to-go routine as much as brushing my teeth. Smelling nice is my brand. Unless I’m walking the dog, going to the grocery, or hitting the gym, I’m packing fragrance. When it comes to cologne (and men), I’m a serial monogamist. Over the years, my preferences have changed,…

  • A Glimpse of the Future

    I haven’t taken more than a few days off from the day job for years. Nobody fills in when I’m out. An overwhelming quantity of emails, phone messages, and snail mail waiting when I return offset the benefits of getting away. I use vacation days a few at a time for long weekends throughout the…

  • My New Exercise Routine

    “Exercise more” tops my to-do list and will likely remain a priority for the rest of my life. Progress has been made. “Exercise more” replaced “Get off your ass and do something,” a to-do list topper from the late 1970s to 2005 or so. Incorporating exercise into daily routines is the key to success. I try…

  • Out-Crotchetied by Whippersnapper

    In our little subdivision, I’m the resident crotchety old man. Pity the fool who provokes me. I run kids out of my yard, fuss at anyone who fails to pick up after their dogs, and call the police to report illegally parked cars. A guy I’d guess to be in his early thirties recently moved into the…

  • Uncertainty

    Nobody knows what the future holds. Anything could happen, if not tomorrow, then the day after. Or next week. Or maybe not at all. Uncertainty is inescapable. Making decisions would be easy if you knew ahead of time how things turn out. The future is a vast minefield of possibilities, likelihoods, and probabilities. Predicting what will happen…

  • In with the New

    Last week’s post was (hopefully) the final resting place for some of the baggage I lugged around last year. There’s more, but the load is much lighter than was the case thirty years ago. For this first post of 2016, rather than resolutions, I want to share my priorities for the year. Stay in the moment. Whatever’s happening…

  • Out with the Old

    ‘Tis the season to reflect on 2015. I’ve had better years, but to be fair, I’ve also had worse. To put a rather challenging year in perspective, my thoughts turn to where I’ve been, where I am right now, and where I want to go. As Dr. Phil says, “How’s that (the way you live your life) working for…

  • Ice Cream Memories

    I’m lucky. A hand-cranked freezer is the star of my first ice cream memory. I’d eaten the store-bought version before, but making our own ice cream was a special occasion. Vanilla was the norm, augmented sometimes with strawberries, peaches, or bananas. Licking the paddles was the reward for helping with the cranking. Sometimes — not…

  • A Real Time Change

    Over the weekend we switched back to Standard Time. Few things mess with my head more than a time change. Frankly, setting the clock up or back does little more than piss me off.  Everyone talks about gaining or losing an hour. Whatever. In the end, we still have just twenty-four hours in a day. No…

  • I Pod Now

    I drink a lot of coffee. Caffeine is my drug of choice now, and my last remaining addiction. Just the thought of giving up my Joe gives me a headache. Over the decades, my coffee tastes and preferences have evolved. I’ve been a devoted and loyal customer at different times for Maxwell House, Folgers, Chock…